Gone fishin' at 40 weeks (& a wild-child update)

Someone once told me that stripes are slimming...

We have hit it!  We have finally hit D-Day!  And today (being one day over), I'm ready.  I feel more tired and more uncomfortable today (probably just mentally discouraged for not being further along).

An update on our first born.  In the last couple of weeks, here on the blog, I've really neglected to update everyone on how Finn's doing.  It's not because I'm ignoring her at home.  In fact, she refuses to let me ignore her (though I have tried in the last two weeks, girlfriend can try my patience as only she knows how and my patience hasn't been the strongest in my current state).

She has definitely entered into her "Finn the Frustrated" phase.  She has quite a large vocabulary and is beginning to speak in complete sentences.  But she still has a very difficult time, figuring out what words need to be said when we do something that she doesn't like (like telling her "no").  There is a lot of throwing down whatever is in her hand (girlfriend has even been known to throw down her chocolate!  What?!?!?  Must take after Daddy in this regard...) and she has also started flaying herself onto the floor as well.  Nothing out of the ordinary for a typical two-year-old.  But it is interesting to see how differently Mama & Daddy deal with these outbursts -- AND how completely different each deal with it depending on their mood and patience level.

Everyone tells me that she is going to be such a big help with Baby Fish.  I'll believe it when I see it.  Maybe in a couple of months, when she realizes that we are stuck with this little pooping & crying thing, she will come around.  But I'm preparing myself for a very rough couple of months -- with lots of tantrums and outbursts when she doesn't get her way because Baby Fish needs to eat or is sleeping or is just laying in Mama's arms.  I have already done the whole "watch-her-sleep-and-cry" knowing that her individual time with me is limited (now EXTREMELY limited).  It makes me sad to know that things are going to change.  But then I try to make myself realize that having a sibling is one of the best things that we could have done for her.  And that although the first years are going to be rough -- when they get older, they are going to be super-tight and love each other to the moon and back.

And little furry update as well:  Tuesday morning, E's mom found blood on the sheets that we laid over our couch (it's the couch that is known as Bishop's couch because that is her prime real estate in the living room, hence the sheets over it -- it's the one that we bought for $25 & I reupholstered for the pets to lay on).  E started giving her a daily baby aspirin over the weekend to help her with her arthritis and we think that might be thinning her blood too much.  I'm going to look into glucosamine instead for her joints.  Later that evening, she was discovered again with blood on the couch.  This time, the culprit was named.  She has a dangling tumor in her mouth that we first noticed over Christmas -- she must have jarred it and it started bleeding in her mouth.  I'm guessing that made her want to lick something and so she chose the couch?  I now need to make a vet appointment for her to get that sucker cut out, so I don't have to find huge spit/blood stains on the sheets that we lay over the couch.

The pregnancy fat face strikes again!

Some fishin' updates:

• There really hasn't been any change.  I'm still tired and I'm still pregnant.
• I saw my doctor yesterday on D-Day.  Briefly, I'm 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced.  The dilation isn't my concern -- you can be dilated to 6 and still sit for days if you aren't effaced (effacement is the measurement of how thinned out your cervix is).  I can't say that the 50% isn't disheartening, which is why I didn't want to get checked in the first place.  But at least, it isn't 0% and no one can say how quickly that last 50% will go (or how slowly).
• My doctor is on-call for 24 hours on Sunday beginning at 8:00am.  So I have a 24 hour window to get the date that I initially thought way back in the first trimester and my own doctor.  If not, I have an appointment set up for next Wednesday and he penciled me in for induction on next Friday.  He said I can cancel the induction on Wednesday if I decide that I would rather wait.  The only reason that we both wanted to pencil me in was because he would be on-call at the hospital again and would be able to deliver me.
• I think my final weight gain total is going to be 47 pounds, which is two more pounds than what I gained with Finn.  And I didn't get any stretch marks this time around either.
• Some days I have absolutely no pain and some days I'm waddling everywhere I go.  Occasionally, I'll have a shooting pain run through my hip as I'm walking because my pelvis is so off-balance.
• Nighttime is the worst.  There are nights were I think that I'm going to roll over and the pelvis isn't going to come with me.  I literally am frozen with fear when I try to roll over, thinking "is this the time that my pelvis gets stuck to one side and then I'm completely broken?"  The pain in rolling over is constant, despite whatever tactics and maneuvers I tried to use.
• Speaking of nighttime, funny thing is that although I think that he has dropped down -- my nighttime trips to the bathroom are actually DECREASING.  There were a couple of nights in the last 2-3 months where I counted five trips between 9:30 -- 6:00.  My usual was 2-3 times, but lately, I've only gotten up once.  Maybe I'm subconsciously trying to hold it longer, but I know the pain that it brings about trying to get out of bed and waddle to the bathroom.  Those first couple of steps are usually real doozies.
• I'm also really trying to relish these last couple of days.  These are the last days of my life that I'm ever going to be pregnant.  While it is proving difficult to feel sad that these days are going to end, I'm also not looking forward to the whole not-sleeping-for-months cycle to start up again.  These pregnancy hasn't been kind to me and I can't say that I'm wishing for myself to stay pregnant forever (as I was with Finn).  Once little Fish arrives, I know that I'm going to have pregnancy-longing-pangs.  But by that point, the memory of him swimming around in my tummy is going to start fading...

Gone fishin' at 39 weeks

The belly is large enough to not be fully covered by my maternity shirts most times now...

D-Day is less than five days away as I sit and write this (on Saturday).  Thursday is the due date, but I'm secretly aiming for the following Sunday (2.2.14).

Tuesday's event were a little eye-opening, but I think a necessary evil.  I definitely wasn't mentally ready for him to arrive on Tuesday (no one in our household was).  But I think the little wake-up-call proved that he was going to be coming and we needed to be ready.  I am as ready as I'm ever going to be now.

 

I had been dreading labor with this one and really hadn't done anything with regards as to how I'm going to handle the contractions.  I've done a little refresher course via the "googles" and feel better prepared and more knowledgeable of how to better handle it.  Last time, it went too quickly for me to be able to mentally handle it.  This time, I've got some mental tactics that I think should get me through.

I was amazed at how much lower Fish is than Finn was.  But I guess with weak stomach muscles, the second pregnancy is always lower.  I was also surprised at how small I am compared to what I think I look like compared to last time.

And now the Fishin' updates:

The full frontal -- I'm all baby...  With a couple of extra pounds in the trunk for balancing purposes...

• Nothing has happened since Tuesday.  With Finorah experiencing the same gastrointestinal issues the next morning, I really think that it was a minor bug.  And that the Braxton Hicks contractions were coming regularly because I was just dehydrated.  I was so nauseous that evening, that I tried to drink some water, but didn't want to see it come up a couple of minutes later -- so I didn't drink, like I should have initially.
• Eain's mother arrived on Thursday and is set to stay until Fish's arrival.  I've very grateful for her being here and now don't have to worry about what to do with Finorah in the middle of the night should we need to head to the hospital.
• I had my 39 week doctor's appointment on Friday.  I no longer fear the 10 pound baby.  I am actually measuring right at 39.5 weeks (only a couple of days ahead of schedule).  I know that I can deliver a 8.5-9 pound baby naturally, so although he is going to be a big baby, I have no fear that he is going to be too big.
• This whole pregnancy, I have thought that I was deliver him on February 2nd (it was the date that I originally calculated as my due date and I mentally stuck with it despite what the ultrasounds said).  My doctor told me that if I wanted to hold out until February 2nd, he wouldn't be opposed to it.  And my mouth dropped open and I asked him why...  The next time that he is on-call is February 2nd!  Talk about fate!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We'll see if we are going to be 2 for 2 in having my own doctor deliver both of my babies... Also, next week is supposed to be bitterly cold -- like the coldest it's been this year here in CLE (the low for Monday & Tuesday -4 without wind chill).  So it would be really wonderful if he could NOT arrive during that time because who wants to bring a newborn out in sub-zero temps -- no person in their right mind.
• My next appointment with my doctor is on Thursday, my actual due date.  I told him that hopefully I would see him then.
• I think that we are finally in agreement on his name.  There is still a little controversy about the spelling.  Last night, we added a second middle name and I think that I'm finally happy and content with his name.  Talk about waiting until the last minute!
• Physically, I actually am feeling pretty good.  Wednesday, I felt amazing -- like second - trimester amazing.  That was pretty scary, because I know that's a sign that labor is imminent.  But nothing has happened and I am now feeling back to my usual third - trimester self.  No back pain. No muscle aches.  No heartburn.  I have quite a bit of constant cervical pressure.  My pubic ligament is on the fritz -- some days, it doesn't hurt at all, other days, it feels like my crotch is burning or being pulled apart if I move the wrong way.  I still get breathless easily (in fact, I really can't have an excited conversation without having to stop and catch my breath).  Lots of movement (still).

The oven hasn't shut off...

Still baking at 38 weeks 6 days

Just a very brief update... There was no baby last night nor today.  I'm currently at work and feeling a lot better than last night.  I continued to have Braxton Hicks contractions for over 6 hours.  They weren't painful in the least and I didn't notice when they would start or stop, just if I moved in a certain way, I would realize that I was having one.  I also woke at 11pm and had the chills (complete with goosebumps, which is the opposite of how I have been this entire pregnancy) and some severe nausea.

Finn was also a monster but I think that she ordered the same thing on the menu and was having the same symptoms that I was.  I think that we had a short little stomach bug as I'm feeling quite normal again last night and Finn also exhibited a symptom or two that I was having last night (and we all KNOW that there is absolutely NO baby in her belly -- though she will try to tell me that there is sometimes).  Still having the occasional Braxton Hicks, but nothing compared to the every 10 minutes or so last night.

Weekend Update... with a very pregnant mama...

• I had my 38 week doctor's appointment on Friday afternoon.  But basically no change from the status quo.  I don't have my doctor check me (as knowledge is a very dangerous thing sometimes -- meaning it would lead to a very impatient and quite possibly irrational pregnant lady) and I'm not having any signs of impending labor.  My next appointment (39 weeks) is this Friday afternoon.
• My doctor did tell me that Fish is going to be a large baby.  He said that I wasn't measuring overly large, not large enough to have an ultrasound.  He said that he would only order an ultrasound if it was going to change the management of my care which is only usually done on a baby that is thought to be over 5,000 grams (an 11 pounder) or a mother with gestational diabetes.  He said that ordering the ultrasound could lead to a primary C-section, which I immediately said no to (and he agreed).  He also told me that I was going to have to do a lot more pushing with this one (Finn came out in four pushes).  I shouldn't complain as there are women who push for hours (not minutes), but the "big-baby" talk, although not new information, began to make me pretty nervous about birthing this baby...
• Friday night was girls'-night-in complete with carry-out pizza as E went out after work.  He was home by 9pm, but I was so exhausted by the time that he came home.  I fell asleep almost immediately, but was awoken at 1am, not feeling well at all (my verdict was too much pizza) and was awake until about 4am.  And of course, my pups had to wake me at 6:45am to go outside.  Saturday was a rough day. E worked around the house for the entire weekend, getting things done in prep for the families to come within the next week or two.  I was able to get out alone and get my new phone (which I needed as my old phone wouldn't shut off and the battery was draining all the time) and I stocked up on extras in preparation for Fish's arrival.  I was knackered by bedtime (which isn't out of the norm).
• Sunday I scrubbed the kitchen floor, in hopes of getting Fish in the right position for delivery (he has been head-down for the past two months but of course, he still rotates around, but with my anterior placenta, I'm concerned about a posterior baby and a large posterior baby at that.  So the longer that he can stay in the left-occiput-anterior position, the better I'll feel).  It worked (at least for now).  I did this with all our tile/hardwood floors before Finorah was born and that's my goal this time as well, one room at a time.

Pay close attention after the 10 second mark.

This is my belly.  This is my belly on Fish.  Any questions?

• The video above is minimal movement.  When he is most active, these movements are multiplied by at least three.  And I am not moving in the least (I tried to breath through my rib cage to steady my belly -- you can see my breathes above my stomach before he starts moving).  Quite often when he is moving, I feel like I have a some little animal trying to claw his way out.  There have been a couple of jabs and kicks that I couldn't believe didn't bruise me.

 He has dropped down...  A lot.

• Very very brief update...  Tonight (Tuesday night) has been interesting...  Been having regular Braxton Hicks contractions for the past 3 hours.  My system cleaned itself out as well earlier this evening.  I have decided that I'm really NOT ready for this baby to come.  Hopefully things will quiet as I sit on the sofa and relax in a quiet house (E took Finn over to the neighbors so that I could have a break)...

Gone fishin' at 38 weeks (& an update on Finn the Ferocious)

Goin' racy this week with a tank top and swimsuit bottoms...

But I thought it was the only way that you could really get the idea of how HUGE this belly was.

Alright, alright, alright...  Sitting at 38 weeks now (38 weeks and 2 days actually).  Two weeks closer to D-Day (the 30th).

E returned from Ireland on Tuesday.  His trip was a whirlwind with two complete days being travel and two days being spent with his family over there.  He was originally scheduled to return on Wednesday, but due to full flights (he was flying stand-by), it was either return on Tuesday or on Thursday.  He chose Tuesday to make sure to be home with me in case Fish made an early appearance (and I can't really complain about it because I was overly relieved at his returning a day earlier).

His trip away was without incident -- except...  On Monday at daycare, Finn bit two people for no reason and was randomly pushing kids down.  Now Finn sticks up for herself if someone is taking her toys away, but she is never usually the instigator of these random acts of violence, so it was out of character for her.  The lady at daycare said that older siblings usually start acting out before the younger sibling arrives because they know something is going on.  And I was told that I needed to have "a talk" with her about not biting.  My mental response was "You want me to rationalize this with an almost two-year-old?  Oh, okay...."  But as I left the daycare with Finn in tow, I asked her if she bit her friend that day and she said "Uh, hmmmm" (which her response for everything is always "no" or "nope").  And so I started talking to her about how biting is not nice and when she is frustrated she needs to use her words.  I wasn't trying to yell at her or chastise her, because that brings immediately tears and shuts down her listening to me at all.  Besides, I'm sure they did enough chastising her at daycare that day after the two incidents.  I  was trying to make her realize why biting was bad and that she shouldn't do it.  We had the same talk the following morning on the way into daycare.  And you know what?  I'm shocked to say that it worked!

Now it may have been that Monday she was overly tired, out of her routine and that it was fluke.  But hell if I'm not going to use the same approach the next time something like this happens!  Maybe I'm not giving her enough credit on understanding things.  I've never been one to baby-talk with her.  I may have talked in a higher pitched voice, but always used the proper words and tried to communicate with her in complete sentences.  Maybe that's starting to pay off in her understanding more complex thoughts -- she is also getting bigger and probably doing things as she should at this age.  On Tuesday morning, I asked her "Do you know who is coming home today?"  And she immediately responded with "Daddy!"  Girlfriend is smart.  It's just hard for me to not see her a little baby anymore.  Baby girl is growing up...

Baby girl was also a handful while E was away.  After his arrival back home on Tuesday evening, it amazed me how 5-10 minutes away from her was all I needed for a mental reset bring my patience back to status quo.  Girlfriend is mentally and physically exhausting for me right now.  On Monday morning, I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, thinking that I could conquer the world as a single-mother if need be (or at least survive until Thursday if E decided to come back a day later).  Ha!  Then Finn woke up...  By the time that I got us in the car and headed to daycare (a mere 30-45 minutes later), I was exhausted.

As for Fish, we are still sitting at status quo...

• Nothing has really changed in the last week in regards to his movements (which are hourly and uncomfortable).  I've taken to actually pushing his foot back in when he sticks it out of my side.  
• There are some days where I think that he has dropped down, but then I get winded trying to have a simple conversation.  This week, I have seen a very big increase in cervical pressure as well.  It's not constant and occurs most frequently when I'm walking, but will occasionally happen while sitting down.
• My temperature has also seemed to have risen in the past couple of days.  I'm constantly hot.  I sleep on top of the covers while E is buried underneath them (which is actually a role reversal).  
• The Braxton Hicks contractions are intensifying.  I can feel them happening more frequently than before and they seem to be stronger and last longer, but they are still only really happening when I get up from sitting for a while or after some physical exertion.
• My maternity clothes are beginning to get tight.  As my belly expands, the clothes that I have normally been comfortable in are starting to get a little too snug for my swollen body.  I haven't worn the compression tights that I worn quite often when I was pregnant with Finn.  I remember them being a challenge to get into during her pregnancy -- I don't think that I would even be able to pull them all the way up at this time.
• Speaking of swollen, the edema is starting to set in.  I have taken off my engagement ring as well as my first ring from Eain.  The only thing that still continues to fit on my finger is my wedding ring which was a half size too big before the pregnancy.  Now it leaves a nice little divot around my finger when I take it off.  And the sock lines -- oh, my!
• Also speaking of swollen, this week has been the official week that I can no longer comfortably cross my legs when I'm sitting down.  In order to achieve that, I have to lean all the way to one-side and practically throw my leg up over my knee (while guiding it with my hand).  Too much work.

A Week in the Life (v.2014.2)

As he left for Ireland, Daddy left us a parting surprise when we got home on Friday evening.  He left a nice note with flowers for me and a balloon for Finn.  He had to place them on a shelf high up to save them from destruction via the cats.

While pulling the balloon down, I realized there was a sucker on the end of the balloon.  Holy crap -- someone was excited!!!

This is what our Saturday morning looked like.  Breakfast sausage and Mickey Mouse on the iPad for Finn and raisin bran for Mama.  You can also see a good shot of her Xmas present in the background.  Best money we EVER spent... 

Saturday afternoon saw Finn trying desperately to play with Munk.  Here she is trying to stick the ball in his mouth to play with him. 

Lots of screams and squeals when he actually took it. 

Huh?  You want me to do WHAT with her?!?!  Play with her?!?!?  But she doesn't throw the ball very well.  She throws it at my face EVERYTIME...  Come on, Ma.....  Please don't make me play with her.... 

Someone chose her outfit on Saturday.  Thankfully, Saturday's temps were conducive with a skirt (that and we didn't go outside for a single minute -- I did to let the pups out, but she didn't). 

Sunday evening, we went over to the neighbors' for dinner.  Before going over and while I was out with the dogs, someone put on her shoes ALL BY HERSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And the correct way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Girlfriend didn't have any socks on, but I just couldn't take them off -- I was so proud. 

Totally rockin' her first "I-put-my-shoes-on-by-myself" photo...

Gone fishin' at 37 weeks

 
I am going to try to do weekly updates until Fish's arrival.  Being my last pregnancy, this is the time that I really wanted to remember with Finn (hence the weekly updates this time).

The biggest development this week was that E has left for Ireland.  Yes, at 37 weeks, he traveled overseas (but it was with my permission, as crazy as I may seem).  He was supposed to travel last weekend, but with the weather that headed our way, flights were canceled and he never made it.  I told him this was the last weekend to travel before Fish's arrival.  So here we sit...

I had an appointment with my doctor yesterday afternoon before E left.  We had debated on whether I should be checked (for dilation) at that point to see if E should cancel the trip. When in the office, I decided that the better choice was that no information was better than misleading information (as did my doctor).  I really don't think that he is going to arrive in the next five days, but the worry is always there.  So I set up a back-up plan and those involved were put "on-call" for the week.  Everything is in place, just in case.  And Dr. Emery tried to calm my fears by saying that if I wasn't feeling right at any point while E was away, I could call the office and see him immediately.

Left: Fish 37 weeks & right: Finn 37 weeks
As you can see, I'm actually quite bigger this time around -- so all my complaints are justified.  Ha!

There has been no signs that says that delivery is going to come anytime soon.  Finn was born 3 hours into her due date. And being that she didn't come early, I'm trying to not concern myself.  I've always thought that he was going to be a February baby anyways (February 2nd has been my own personal EDD from the very beginning) -- his due date is January 30, so this is a definite possibility.

I've gained 43 pounds this pregnancy, which is only slightly less than I gained with Finn.  I gained 45 pounds with her, but my last three weeks plateaued off and I lost a pound or two.  I'm not concerned about my weight gain at all.  I lost all the weight with Finn (and more) by her first birthday and I'm fully expecting the same with Fish.

Fish is also still very active right now, which leads me to believe that delivery isn't imminent as I heard they slow down as D-Day approaches.  It is quite uncomfortable if I'm being truthful.  At the beginning when he was just a crazy mover & shaker, it was cute.  Now, although I breath a sigh of relief at the beginning of each of his exercise routines, by the time that it is halfway through I'm pushing back on his feet as they try to stretch outside my body and tell him to cool his jets.  He usually doesn't listen to me and continues to tell me how angry he is that my uterus is so small.  Finn was never this active.  She would do a bump here or there; maybe a kick a week and after a single kick or movement, she was done.  This guy just keeps going and going and going, practically every hour.

I'm also completely over the stranger comments.  On Friday, I was told that I was going to have the baby that day (which seems to be an everyday occurrence as of late), but then the lady sitting next to the first lady said "Yeah, are you heading to labor and delivery right now?"  At least 3-5 times a day, I get asked how long I have, then the I get the stink eye when I say "three weeks" and then they tell me how big the baby is going to be.  I get it.  The kid is big.  I also think that it's because I haven't gained weight anywhere else -- all 43 pounds have went to my belly(save 10 pounds or so that went to my ass -- ONLY to balance me out so I don't fall over with all the weight in my belly.  It's all physics, people).

He is in the right position (head-down), but rotates all over the place.  I'm not sure if you remember, but my placenta was anterior (meaning it was on the front side), which could lead to some issues during delivery (a sunny-side up baby = lots of back labor).  But I'm feeling confident that he will rotate into the right position.  Each time I roll over in bed, he always rolls with me, so that he can stick his feet into the mattress and try and stand up.  So, I know that his rotation skills are up to par.

Speaking of rolling over in bed, I'm over it.  My pubic ligament actually POPS now everytime I roll over.  I dread the actual roll-over, which takes at least 45 seconds.  It's so uncomfortable and painful.  I'm also now getting shooting cramps which start in a buttcheek and run down the back of my leg.  They only happen when I walk, which leads me to believe that I'm really waddling off-balance now.  And my left leg is falling asleep whenever I lay on my left side (which is the side that all doctors suggest you lay on as it's best blood flow for both you and babe).  I try to stay on my left side as much as possible, but can't.

I am also still eating my dates on the reg.  Not sure if I posted this at any point, but I found a research article that states that dates are a really great idea for the final month of pregnancy.  Date-eaters were less likely to need Pitocin to help labor progress, had a shorter first stage of labor, were less likely to have premature water-breaking, and had a significant reduction in post-partum bleeding.  96% of the date-eaters went into labor spontaneously (meaning didn't need an induction).  With all that evidence and the fact that dates don't taste like anything, I figured I could suck it up (as I'm not too keen on the texture) and down 5-6 a day.

A Chilly Week in the Life (v.2014.1)

Our friend SaraBeth came over for a Hawkeye football bowl visit (while back for the holidays).  We miss her very much and can't wait for her next visit.

No longer the baby...  Now she is a little girl...  The first pony tail made it official...

Uncle Cory, Aunt Mandy, & Cousin Owen gave Finn a basket full of fruit for her new kitchen from Christmas.  The best thing?  The fruit is velcro'ed together and there were plastic knives.  So now, lady gets to prep fruits and veggies just like mom!!!  (They also gave her the killer apron you see hanging in the back which she adores -- the chef hat, not so much.)

Just like everyone else, we had some well below zero temps.  Finn decided to play coy when I was trying to get a photo of how cute she looked with her kitty-cat hat on and the fuzzy hood.

Daddy got a great photo of her new "cheese" face.  I love this little lady!

Gone fishin' at 36 weeks

Yowza!  One month left.  Where did the last 9 months go?  It seems like it was just yesterday that I got the "pregnant" word appear on the stick and then, finding out that Fish was a boy and then, breaking my foot and then the belly appearing and not going away.  But it also seems like years ago when all of these things happened.  I can't believe it's actually time to start getting the hospital bag ready and placed in the car and to set up all the old infant gear that we put away.  Life is going to change here shortly.

In my pregnancy and delivery of Finn, I remember not being able to wait until the next time that I could be pregnant again.  Her pregnancy and delivery was marvelous, storybook actually -- yes, there were aches and pains, but I truly loved being pregnant with her.  This time around, I joke that if this was the way I felt with the first pregnancy, there may not have been another.  And I will tell you that although when I first found out I was pregnant, I was already contemplating a third.  But after this one, there will NOT be another little set of feet running around our house (at least not one that I have to grow).

I have one word for you... exhaustion.  Yes, I have the aches and pains that go along with pregnancy.  They wax and wane and on the days when they are pretty severe, I may complain about them a little (or a lot).  But those aches and pains I know serve a greater good, meaning a faster and easier delivery.  This exhaustion serves NO purpose, except to make me more tired.  I try to remember back to Finn's pregnancy and think if I was this exhausted during that one as well.  But there is one glaring difference between then and now -- that being Finn and my having to chase after her or convince her to do something, particularly coaxing her to come near me to get her diaper changed as I have already lowered myself onto the floor and can't get up with any speed (which also exhausts me at this point).  It's a double-edged sword, really.  Because I know the more active I stay, the easier delivery will be -- but I just want to stop moving and lay with my eyes closed.  I don't want to ask E to do too many things because it will just make me lazier and lazier and I know that I will be thanking myself for trying to chase after Finn when Fish shoots out with a sneeze (okay, not really).

And to complete the never-ending cycle, I have a good ole' fashion case of pregnancy insomnia at least 1-3 times a week.  I will wake up to go to the bathroom (which requires some work to get off the bed due to my symphysis pubis dysfunction (just a fancy word for a loose pubic ligament causing lots of pain)).  Once I get back into bed, Fish will wake up and decide that it's Soul Train time and bust out some seriously uterus-stretching moves for about 20-30 minutes.  By now, I'm fully awake and won't go back to sleep for another hour at least.

Speaking of Soul Train moves, Fish is going to be a serious mover and shaker.  The boy can't stop!  At least once an hour, he is in there moving and stretching for 10-15 minutes.  The alien stomach began a while ago and although he is running out of room, the movements are NOT slowing down -- they are just getting bigger.

I am also beginning to get anxious about Fish's arrival.  With Finn, there was no anxiousness, honestly.  I wasn't even nervous on the day that I had her.  I knew that there was nothing that I could do to stop it and that she had to come out one way or another.  This time around, it's entirely different.  I know what to expect (or at least think that I know what to expect) and that's the problem.  With Finn, I was in early labor for 17 hours.  Early labor is the easy labor -- you are contracting regularly, but not strongly; you can do everything that you normally do -- best way to describe this is like having menstrual cramps on regular intervals.  I completed a full work day with no one knowing that I was in early labor and we even went out to eat with our neighbors.  I am not concerned about that part.  The part that petrifies me is that I was in active labor (self-defined as the moment I couldn't talk through my contractions) for 90 minutes before I was full dilated and that Finn arrived in four pushes.  I arrived at the hospital at 9cm and was fully dilated within 10 minutes of arrival.  I would have had to have her all-naturale (i.e. with no pain meds) if she had dropped into place.  Fortunately for me, she was sitting really high in my uterus (partially because my bag of water was a bag of steel -- that sucker didn't break even after 4 hours of being fully dilated and practically falling out of my body) and I was able to get an epidural.  Due to LOTS of babies being born that evening/morning (I think I remember them saying 17 babies), they let me sit for four hours, naturally letting my body push the baby lower.  And when it came time to push, four pushes was all it took.  They say the second arrives faster than the first.  I have no plans on having Fish without an epidural.  And I am not about to have a baby in the car.  Yet, I don't want to arrive at the hospital too soon and look silly, having to be turned away with my second baby.

I also have Finn to worry about this time.  Last time, my poor puppy became so depressed in seeing me go through the serious pain of active labor.  My neighbors took care of him while we were in the hospital with Finn and they said that he wouldn't even lift his head for a ball (which is his favorite).  Also, poor Finn was straight up traumatized when I fell down the stairs, seeing me only mildly crying in pain.  So there is a fine line that we are going to have to ride before we leave for the hospital.  This time, my motto is "start heading to the hospital when I can't talk through my contractions" and hope we get there in time.

The New Year's Eve scare...

I've made an executive decision and realized that this blog shouldn't be just about Finn.  Well, (hopefully) less than a month, it would have about a Fish & a Finn.  But I've decided that this space needs to be more about our family as well.  I've really tried to keep our privacy as best as possible by not using E's first name (and I'm not sure if I've used my first name either) and with Fish's arrival, the blog name is going to change to ensure a little more of Finn's privacy.

But I also want this blog to be about more than the kids -- with more stories on E & me and the pets.  So in that vein...

Our oldest pup (Bishop) gave me quite the scare on New Year's Eve.  There was about 15 minutes where I honestly thought she was going to die.  But before going any further, she didn't die and she made a slow, steady & complete recovery.

Let's catch you up to speed...  Bishop is our oldest pup -- she turned 11 last September and has lost a good chunk of her hearing.  She is the momma to our other pup (Munk).  Bishop has struggled with her weight most of her life (due to us fixing her pretty shortly after her giving birth to the puppies).  In the past month or so, we have been seeing more labored breathing & panting in Bishop.  But we had also noticed that in our previous dog, Kelly as she was getting older.  So I didn't think anything of it, simply adjusting the amount of time that I anticipate her to do things (such as climb stairs and get off the couch).

Well, about 3-4 weeks ago, I had to call E in a panic because Bishop's breathing sounded so labored that I thought she has an airway obstruction and that she was choking.  I was 8 months pregnant at the time and the poor girl tops of the scales over 85 pounds, plus she has numerous lumps and bumps from her old age and I didn't want to do more injury to her.  I was hysterical, not knowing what to do.  By the time that E was able to get home, she was breathing normally again (with no labored breathing whatsoever) and resting quite comfortably.  I felt silly having E fly home from work early to find her back to her normal self.

So Tuesday evening, I come home with Finn and am in the bathroom when Bishop comes past panting especially heavy.  She walked into the living room, panting and doing circles.  I called Munk to the door and loudly clap for Bishop (as that's the only way that she can hear you to come outside).  Then I noticed that she is walking in large circles and she was peeing at the same time!  I clap again, thinking that her bladder was just too full and that we need to hurry her outside.  As she is quickly walking towards me through the dining room, her back paws started to curl up underneath her and she started slipping and sliding on our hardwood floors.  She was desperately trying to make it to the side door rug as she couldn't stand up at all on the hardwood of the dining room and then tile of the kitchen.  She collapsed onto her tummy literally inches from the rug and refused to get up.

Her breathing was so labored that I thought she was going to give one final breath and just stop breathing.  Poor Finn saw Bishop struggling and was screaming "Bishop! Bishop! Bishop!" because she knew something was wrong.  I'm not sure what kicked in -- but the emotional mess that I usually am disappeared and I became super calm and strong.  I set Finn up with her lamb and the iPad to watch the Mickey Mouse clubhouse on the other side of the table, so she couldn't see anything.  And I sat with Bishop.  I rubbed her ears, stroked her side and just told her that it was going to be okay, not wanting her final moments to be stressful caused by my hysterics.  She was foaming at the mouth and moving her head from side to side, her back legs were splayed out underneath her like a frog.  After about 15 minutes of my gentle soothings, she was breathing normally again, tail wagging when I would return my hand back to it's place on her back ro side after occasionally have to lift it to move something else out of the way) but refusing to get up.  Now this time, I'm 9 months pregnant and there is no way that I'm lifting this girl onto her feet.  E was on his way home (as I had called him earlier, surprising myself at how calm I was in telling him of the situation) and Bishop remained in the same spot until E came home.

After E arrived and he got her to roll onto her side, I started trying to piece together what happened, replaying the events to E.  It was then that I realized that she had had a seizure.  She had had two while we lived in Jersey and I had written them down at the advice of our vet.  I pulled out the information and one of them sounded quite similar to what I had just experienced with her a hour or so earlier.  While seizures are super scary, it actually calmed me that I was able to place a name with what transpired, now knowing how to handle the next one.

E was able to get her up when he opened the door to let Munk outside.  She wanted to go out as well.  And when they returned from outside, we broke out some cheese and she was ready to eat at that point.  We moved her bed downstairs into the kitchen and she remained on the bed for the duration of the evening.  But in the middle of the night, she had come upstairs and stole Munk's bed in our bedroom because she didn't want to stay downstairs by herself.  And on New Year's Day, she was moving around well, but slowly.  And this morning, when I let her out, I even saw her run a little again (which is her norm -- not too much running happens anymore).  In doing my own research by the googles, I found out that her difficult breathing was part of the seizure and am now wondering how many smaller seizures she has had in the past couple of months that we didn't recognize.  So I will be making an appointment with our vet to get some advice about how to deal with the seizures as I'm thinking that they are going to becoming more frequently.  But I'm glad to report that she is back to her old self.