Last Friday, someone wasn't happy to go to daycare...
But that night, she made dinner -- little pizzas. For realz! She is such a great chef!
Baby Fish trying out the Moby -- Finn loved it when she was little. He has his moments where he loves it and falls asleep, but there are times where he just isn't into it...
Napping with Stella
This is where our solo journey begins -- with me and my babes snuggling on the sofa.
Who says you can't have a warm cinnamon roll in the middle of the afternoon?
First night is a success! Finn slept in her crib -- only waking up once at 2:30am with perfect timing as Fish wasn't awake at that point. She went back down easily enough...
Fish was up his usual times, but wasn't very difficult (i.e. awake and crying due to gas).
But he WAS awake at 6am that morning -- bright eyed and bushy tailed.
While I caught up on the morning news, he caught up on the morning rays. He loves looking out the window as the sky begins to lighten for the day.
The beautiful princess woke up at 7:30am.
Simply gorgeous!
Multi-tasking -- carrying her baby and her purse while talking on the phone.
I'm trying my best to relish in the chaos that becomes my floors. It's pretty difficult to NOT want to pick it up immediately upon her moving on to something else. But if she sees me picking it up, the SASS comes out and she decides that she wasn't done playing with it.
Big Fish is getting TOO BIG for his britches. He is stretching past the 0-3 sleepers already!!!!!!! He is just TOO LONG. I'm going to have to move him into onesies and pants as he is truly 0-3 month size. I think 3-6 month would be falling off of him...
Calling Daddy on her phone.
Little Miss Two-Year-Old
Little Miss Show-Off
Not so quietly playing with stickers (i.e. those free return-address mailing labels that all those places send you) while I try to make dinner
Trying my best to figure this two kids thing out... Fish wrapped in the Moby while I cook.
Kiss Me I'm Irish!!!
Eating dinner of noodles and red sauce and homemade canned peaches.
I tried to tire her out later that evening by getting out the bubble machine...
As you can see, she was more than rambunctious to catch those bubbles.
It's difficult trying to explain death to a 2-year-old -- so I told her that Bishop went to a friend's house (Kelly, our old dog who passed away a couple of years ago) and that she wouldn't be coming back as she was having too much fun with Kelly. I had cried earlier in the evening about Bishop and so Finn went on a Bishop at Kelly's house kick about 30 minutes later.
We ended the evening with a small snack of M&Ms, which proceeded to get mostly on her face.
The night was mostly -- a success! Finn slept through the whole night, but Fish was up from 1:30 -- 3:00 with gas and was crying and uncomfortable.
Someone decided that she needed to be in the Moses Basket...
Our final solo dinner -- BBQ chicken (one of Finn's favorites) and corn
It took Finn five weeks to finally like the Mamaroo -- Big Fish took to it immediately (but only when he is sleepy)!
Cheers (Mommy with wine and Finn with milk) to making it through our first solo flight!!!
Please excuse the lack of make-up and the unbrushed hair... I am proud to say that I DID shower this morning. I can't remember if I looked this haggardly with Finn or not. I would bet not as I now have double-duty, both baby-rearing and toddler-rearing.
Physically:
As you can see, I'm a lot smaller now, but I'm not back to my pre-pregnancy size yet. I have lost 24 pounds, with 23 still to go. My tummy is pretty much a bowl of jelly. I think one of the reasons that I loved having a pregnant belly was because my stomach was taunt and you didn't feel like you had a fat tummy even when you were enormous, you just felt enormous. Now I just feel flabby. I'm trying to NOT be so hard on myself as I know that it took 9 months to pack on the weight. It should take 9 months to get back to my original shape and with Finn, I actually LOST from my pre-pregnancy weight by her first birthday. I also think that weight and belly flab are completely about perspective. I'm attaching my early pregnancy photos below. The posts written with these photos were saying how I looked bloated or how people who couldn't tell I was pregnant needed some serious glasses (I pasted the best quotes from each post). I would KILL for a flat tummy like that! I have no doubt that I will return to my original weight and size -- I just need to practice patience... But I truly can't wait to be thin again.
11 weeks
"I think that this week is going to be the end of fat-phase and by next week, I should enter into the I-look-pregnant-phase..."
12 weeks
In regards to losing a little weight, "I realized that it's only 3 pounds, but it makes me feel a lot less heavy (I'm sure it's all psychological)."
13 weeks
In regards to telling a co-worker at work that I was pregnant, "She had the balls to tell me that I am showing way too early for 13 weeks, that my bump was too big for 13 weeks."
14 weeks
In regards to my PI (the doctor that I work with) at work, "Honestly, I don't know how he doesn't know. This stomach isn't in
hiding -- if he seriously doesn't know, he must think that I'm a fat
cow."
Physically, I feel completely normal. In fact, I felt completely normal after about a week and a half. My post-delivery pain was actually very minimal. I took a single Motrin in the hospital directly after delivery and then took another 24 hours after delivery due to post-partum cramping (which is absolutely NO joke the second time around). Beyond that, I didn't take anything (besides Colace) for recovery and felt great. In fact, even my post-delivery bathroom routine (which I continued for at least 3 weeks with Finn) was back to normal by day 4-5. In fact, I'm practically done with the postpartum bleeding right now (it continued until about week 6 with Finn). My pelvis has fused back together -- I still had some issues with some residual pain for about 1-2 weeks, but now that's gone as well. I am going to give all credit to the dates that I ate in the last trimester.
And I can't remember how tired I was the first time around, but this newborn crap is seriously no joke. I am exhausted... He has settled into a nighttime routine of sorts -- we hit the hay around 9pm, he wakes at midnight, then at 3am and then at 5:30am. Due to the fact that I'm breastfeeding, I am the one that is up all three times (and sometimes more if he dirties his diaper so loud the neighbors could hear it). We are co-sleeping (which I know many people poo-poo on) and it's the only thing that is saving my sanity as I'm able to get more sleep. I'm not a napper (never have been). "Sleep when the baby sleeps" as he sleeps for hours at a time during the day. But once I fall asleep during the middle of the day, I am dragging the rest of the day -- as I can never fully wake up from the nap. I'm groggier AFTER a nap than if I just stay awake the whole day and go to sleep a little earlier in the evening.
Mentally:
Fish at two weeks
I'm struggling -- that's the nicest way to say it. I've come to realize that I am a creature of habit. I'm like a toddler that has to have my routine and I don't like to deviate. I am trying to keep my head afloat as we find our new routine, but the unbalance that is our current state tends to leave me anxious and very unsteady. I also am a strong, independent woman -- that's my life motto (just ask E). Right now, due to the fact that Fish & Finn are both so needy, I can't do everything that I normally would do. That irritates me to no end and makes me very quick-tempered. I've caught myself snapping at Finn because I was frustrated that I was chained to the sofa feeding Fish and couldn't stop her from destroying whatever was in front of her.
I love being my children's everything and I still want to be their everything -- I just want 20 minutes away. I love that before Fish came, I was Finn's everything. I was her chef, her bather, her playmate, her good-night kisser. There was nowhere I would rather be than with her. And the same now goes for Fish. I enjoy the fact that I can silence his cries just by being handed him from someone else. But it's a double-edge sword as both kids are in a very needy phase. Fish is a newborn and of course is needy, needy, needy -- that's what newborns do best. But Finn is also in a needy phase as toddlers thrive in routine and her routine is all whackadoo right now, which leads to a cranky toddler that needs Mommy's help ALL THE TIME. But there are moments that I wish that I was formula feeding, so I could get 15 minutes away. There are moments where I wish that Finn was a little older so she could do more things for herself. I keep preaching to myself that this is only going to last for another couple of weeks. Once we have settled into a more settled schedule & Fish is a little bigger and out of the newborn phase, things will quiet down to a louder, crazier routine. (Yes, I'm going to cry in a couple of weeks that Fish is no longer a newborn, even though I'm wishing his newborn days away right now.)
I watch E leave for work or leave to help someone else for the day and realize that I can't leave the house alone without his permission now. I had this same feeling with Finn and it goes away as the newborn gets bigger and the weather gets nicer. But I can't go anywhere without Fish since I'm breastfeeding and/or Finn if she isn't at daycare. It gets very lonely as I'm no-where near home and family and I don't have many friends who live close. I can count my close friends that I made here on a single hand and they are all over a 30 minute drive away.
I think that the weather has played a big role in my feeling trapped at home. I can't walk outside with Fish as it's too cold. Also I can't get out and exercise both myself or Munk. So I feel guilty that Munk lost Bishop and I can't go out and take his mind off of sitting inside being bored. It was over 50 degrees this past week, but the wind and rain were in effect, so I couldn't get out. This week is supposed to be back in the teens -- another reason why I can't wait for a couple of weeks.
I'm still struggling with the idea of staying home with them. There are days where I don't think that I could do it. And there are also days where I would hate to leave them for the day. I struggle with the idea of us living on a single income. But I also struggle thinking that they are only going to be this little once and I should take full advantage of it. There is also a local-SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) group that meets during the day that I would love to take advantage of to make friends. But again, the only way that I could do that would be to stay home. So even my return to work is in limbo...
I also think that losing my dog during my early postpartum days doesn't make this transition any easier. But I'm going to go with the logic that everyone struggles during the newborn phase (because it makes me feel better). So even though I've done this before, it's still hard. I know that I will survive and that everyone will be stronger once we see the other side. This is only a temporary phase and soon we will be settled into being a family of four.
My family came out last weekend for their inaugural visit to meet Fish. They came out during his two week birthday, which happened to be the same weekend they visited for Finn when she was first born as well. But this time, they also got to help celebrate Finn's second birthday (as her birthday is two weeks and a day after Fish's). It was like hitting two birds with one stone!
Finn is always excited when Papa and Mimi come for a visit, as she knows that she is going to get A LOT of attention. Papa & Mimi's visit was a little different this time as my brother, my sister-in-law and my nephew also joined them. Cory, Mandy, & Owen also came out when Finn was celebrating her two week birthday. But Owen was just five months old then and Finn couldn't care less if Mimi was preoccupied with Owen. This time around, sh*t was different...
This time, Finn had to share her time with Owen AND Fish as well as Munk. Munk was in a funk that weekend as Bishop also passed away about 20 minutes after my family arrived. Finn did good for most of the weekend, but there was quite a bit of scolding as she didn't want to share (either Mimi or her toys).
But there was also great times of playing. And there was also LOTS of times where Finn would run into the room as say "Where's Owen?" and then run out when she realized that he wasn't in the room.
"Ring Around the Rosy" was a big hit that weekend as well. Finn had just started asking to play "Ring Around the Rosy". The first time that she asked me to play with her I was 39 weeks pregnant and I complied. I walked in the circle with her, but I did NOT fall down. I knew that if I fell down, I wouldn't be getting up!
Papa, Mimi, Uncle Cory, Daddy, & Owen all complied to her requests to run around in a circle and sing and then fall down.
There was also quite a few episodes of rough housing, including a dog-pile on Papa that had both grandkids in fits of laughter.
Mandy is also pregnant with their second baby. They recently found out it was a boy! And just as luck would have it, Owen and Finn are only five months apart (with Owen being older) and Fish is going to only be five months older than Baby #2 based on Mandy's due date (of July 1st).
Someone got a purse from Aunt Mandy & Uncle Cory for her birthday, that included sunglasses. It was a huge hit. (The rest of the photos are courtesy of Mandy -- as I had my hands full with a stroller at the Aquarium.)
We also took the day on Monday and went to the Cleveland Aquarium. Mimi, Finn & I had went back in October during one of Mimi's visits. I was surprised when Finn realized exactly where we were when we first arrived. Papa was holding her as we paid for our tickets and once she saw the first tank of fish 9which was at eye level for her -- she took off, shouting "Fishies!"
Please don't let this photo fool you -- this was AS CLOSE as she got to touching the tortoises. She got brave and stuck her hand in ONCE. And then that darn tortoise moved and she was OVER IT and refused to even stick her head through the fence. Owen, of course, had no fear and was all over touching them.
Again, don't let this photo fool you. She was more excited to splash in the water than trying to touch the stingrays.
