I'm not sure if a lot of this is due to the upheaval of our normal routine due to my incapacity to do practically anything anymore. But everything with that child is now a fight. And you may think that I'm being overly dramatic, but I would guarantee at least 85% of the time, neither E or I can do right by her. It's a fight in the morning. It's a fight in the evening when we get home. And it's also a fight in the evening when we go to bed. I will preface all of this with the fact that she does calm down, eventually... But getting to "eventually" usually taking at least 5-10 minutes.
Apologies for the lack of photos or creativity... Being broken is hard...
The first two days after my fracture, I lost my patience with the girl more than I care to admit. Each time, I would step back and try to realize that she was only 19 months and had no idea what happened to make everything so different. I now have the patience to deal with her and although E tells me that rationalizing with a 19 month is futile, I always tell her that she needs to be patient with me just as much as I need to be patient with her. I'm not delusional and I know that it's my calming tone rather than my words that gets her to slow down and realize that while she may have thought it's the end of her world to not be carried up the stairs or to not be allowed in the frig, there are other options and other things to do. But I think that telling her my words helps me -- it helps me remember that she is only my little, teeny girl, that doesn't understand, that I need to practice patience with and these 5-10 minutes will be over before I can blink.
Classic example of her tantrums... She cried when it was time to leave the kitchen to go upstairs to get into the bath -- but eventually she calmly crawled upstairs on her own accord. She cried upon entering the bathroom because I took away her lamb and her bink. She started screaming when I got her undressed for the bath -- although she was extremely happy splashing in the faucet while the bath was filling. Girlfriend has a major issue lately with taking off her socks -- she REFUSES to do it. If you try to take off her socks, holy hell... She cried when I placed in the tub -- to the point where I had to double- and triple-check the water temperature. She SCREAMED in the bath because she couldn't reach her cups that were on the other end of the tub (note -- I couldn't reach them either because I have to sit on a low stool to bath her and I sit near the drain). And then she finally SCREAMED because I pulled the plug on the drain and she didn't want to get out. I proudly remained calm through all of this. And my calm demeanor was rewarded only 10 minutes later when she fell asleep all snuggled up against my side...
With my broken foot, I now need help with practically every task that I would normally do myself. This leads to a lot of "thank you"s and "I'm sorry"s as I feel like a huge inconvenience to E. He is taking on a huge caretaker role currently. And a couple of nights ago was the first time that she picked him over me. I knew that eventually that would happen, but I can't say that my feelings weren't just a little hurt by it.
I've tried to keep up with what little of our normal routine that I can. I still give her her baths (although they are little less frequent than before) and put her to bed daily, even if it requires me to climb the 14 stairs that I fell down a week and a half ago. I still try to sit with her while she eats dinner, even if I can't sit at her little "big girl" table (made by Papa) -- trust me, I've tried to sit down in those teeny toddler chairs, but getting back out with one leg proves that I'm not the model of fitness.
And I'm kind of proud to admit that it's getting easier to get around. I have my knee walker which is great. But even using my crutches upstairs while giving her a bath in the evenings or getting ready for work in the mornings or walking to the car before work is easier. I'm still winded by when I get to my final destination, but my muscles in my arms, shoulders, and left leg aren't sore anymore. I can go to the bathroom without feeling like I've been put through the ringer. It is amazing to me how quickly your body adjusts to using new muscles. I'm going to have one herculean left leg, that's for sure!
I'm a very independent person and with E's normal work hours, as much as I complain about him not being around, it allows me to do it my way (which is the preferred way, of course). So this break (literally) has been hard on me in letting go of "doing it my way". The first two days after the fracture, I had meltdown after meltdown. I'm sure that being pregnant and overly emotionally didn't help the situation. But I was so frustrated by everything around me and so angry that I had to change that I couldn't see past the fact that things could have been a whole lot worse. I was carrying both of my babies (one in my arms and one in my body) and neither of them were even bumped. I could have broken my leg or my tail bone or my arm. Although 6 weeks seems like forever and I'm already tired of getting "What did you do?!?!" from strangers at work, I'm looking at these 4.5 remaining weeks in a more positive light.
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