Sunday, October 19, 2014

What do my kids look like to me?

Life with two children under three isn't relaxing.  But gosh, most times it is so rewarding.  That picture up there?  That's my girl.  It's almost like I took a snapshot of my memory of her.  When I imagine my little girl, that photo is almost exactly how I picture her.  The slight smile and the gap between her front teeth.  The way her head cocks to the side when she is trying to explain something.  Her gorgeous eyes shining with life.  And her hair always wild despite my efforts to tame it.

This photo right here?  It's my snapshot of my little Fish.  I can even hear the shouts that he is shrieking out (just look at his sister's face and you can imagine yourself the decibels that come out of that little one).  His beautiful eyes also sparkle with life.  His little hands are a blur (because when he gets a BIG feeling either happy or angry, those hands & wrist start to twist).  And his hair is fluffed in the wind, almost exactly the same as when I puff a big breath of air at his hair line to get him to giggle.

Life with two isn't a walk in the park -- especially at the ages that we are at currently.  Both seem to be in the "no-one-can-do-it-but-mama" phase, which usually ends my day with a dirty house and frazzled nerves.  And while my social life is far from active right now, I'm finally okay with it.  Because as I look at these photos, I know that I'm living in a special time in my life.  My kids will never, ever been little twice and I don't want to give up a minute of it.  I'm lucky enough to be home with them -- and sometimes while I watch them sleep, I still don't think that there is enough time for me to spend with them.   Trust me when I say that there are plenty of times when I just wish for them to sleep, wanting a minute of my own, a minute to breath without someone crying for my hugs or my attention.  But when they do finally fall asleep, I just want to freeze that moment in time and hold onto them little bodies that are constantly getting bigger just a second longer, breath in the smell of their heads, and sit in that moment forever.

This right here is our "winking" face.

I know that I'm in the easy years right now.  I'm in the years where all they need is my love and kisses.  Soon it will get more difficult.  Then I'll have to start directing them and pushing them on the path to being their own persons.  I know that will be very mental taxing -- just as these years are so physically taxing.  But while I'm exhausted and my house in shambles, I won't give up an opportunity to snuggle with them for an extra moment.  My house can be clean when they are in school and my social life can have a pulse again then.  I'm living in this moment in time and enjoying it.

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