Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Life as we know it (formerly known as Streams of Consciousness)

I'm O-V-E-R this winter crap.  OVER!!!
  • The sky is a darker shade of blue, but you can still see orange on the horizon.  And I just got asked "Mommy, it's dark outside.  Can I have ice cream?"  It's 6:34pm and we already ate dinner.  Can't say that the girl doesn't have me there.
This is how we did Valentine's Day.  This is as fancy as we get.
  • Apologies for the lack of "good" photos (or Finn's 3 year update or her yearly video).  Life just seems to catch up with me.  I was running and running and running for both of their birthdays and the birthday party in-between and I've seem to fallen into a rut.  Maybe it's the cold weather and overcast days.  Maybe it's the comparing-yourselves-to-others (which I try desperately NOT to do).  Maybe it's just loneliness and the leaving of family (from Finn's birthday weekend).  Maybe it's the nostalgia that has crept in over the past couple of weeks (as I tear up typing this) over my two babies' birthdays and how life slips away as you are trying to keep your head afloat.  Whatever it is, it's difficult now.  I still love my life and am desperately trying to find the "pep" that is usually in my step.
  • Speaking of difficult, I've got one.  He's 12 months old and knows how to throw a mean tantrum.  We have had three in the past three days.  The first was at bedtime because I took away his water cup, the next four hours later in the middle of the night (not sure what caused that one) and another on Sunday evening because E tried to scoop his yogurt.  The kid will NOT stop screaming.  The head get thrown back, the back gets arched into a "u" shape, I swear.  And the screams... will... just... not... stop...  We have a long road to hoe for the next 15 years.  Maybe he will surprise me and just be difficult between 12 months and 2 years.  Yeah, not holding my breath on that one.
 This is how she dressed herself for her doctor's appointment last week.  She needed to have a scarf just like Mommy.
  • Speaking of difficult, I've got another one.  She is hitting her threes as if she is hitting her junior high years in an all girls school.  Girlfriend knows drama like it is her best friend.  We are getting back into the throwing, the hitting, and the tantrums.  I'm trying to take this one with grace, but reasoning with a three year old is like trying to speak Chinese with an English speaking frog.  It just doesn't make sense. 
  • Speaking of difficult, I am trying to learn Manual mode on my camera.  I started out great (in fact, the February "good" photos on the red couch were all taken in Manual in the snow, which isn't the most forgiving environment).  But it takes daily exercise and creativity, which require gumption, which is sorely lacking in the moment.  But I refuse to move that dial back to Automatic -- it's almost like it putting back on those size 8 pants after wearing 6's for a couple of months.  Just... can't... do... it...
  • Tomorrow morning, we have an "interview" for a preschool in the area for Finn.  Most days I feel like I'm a total failure at not providing enough structure or social interactions for her.  So a friend of mine found a wonderful preschool kind of in the area that is a very good price.  She has been deadset on NOT going to school every time I've brought it up to her.  But this morning, I told her that we were visiting a school and her response was "And if I like it there then I can go.  If I don't, then I don't have to."  Smart chick.  Fingers are crossed that she loves this place.
 Someone's thinking he is hot sh*t now.
  • And someone has developed his independence overnight.  Fish started to eat with a spoon.  He has eaten yogurt and beans with his spoon.  If you try to take away his spoon, heaven help you.  He is going to be my tough one.

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