Once we got to the car, I started to dig through the middle
console before getting in with E yelling at me to get into the car. In my mind, I HAD to put down the “wee-wee”
training pad we purchased, just in case my water broke in the car and then another
contraction hit me. E was
mad-crazy to get to the hospital and forced me into the car. Looking back, I'm certainly glad that someone was in a hurry to get me to the hospital.
E drove like the crazy man you see on the TV shows. I was screaming the “F” word at the top
of my lungs during the contractions.
But after the contraction was over, as he was tailgating the slow moving
car in front of us, I’d calmly tell him that he really didn't need to drive
that fast, that we weren't really in THAT much of a hurry. We arrive to the hospital ER as we were instructed in our childbirth class and E went to get a wheelchair.
He wheeled the wheelchair out to me. I got in after some
severe prompting for not moving fast enough during my contraction. The security guard saw the severity of
the situation, radioed ahead to L&D and decided to rush us to the “secret-hidden”
service elevator that drop us off right in front of the L&D desk. (Normally, laboring moms would have to
be wheeled about ¼ of a mile through hallways and put a different elevator and
have to be buzzed into L&D.) I
think the security guard took us this way, because he didn't want me scaring
patients with my crazed vocalizations. I had another
contraction in the hallway while they were wheeling me to the elevator. I forgot where I was and the pain of
the contraction took over – I started screaming curse words in the
hallway. After the contraction was
over, I apologized to the guard for losing my shit as well as apologizing to a night nurse in scrubs walking past us.
We got up to L&D, quickly checked in and they told us to
go through the doors and go into L&D #14 where they were waiting for
us. We arrived in the room and I
immediately asked for my drugs and told the nurses to call the anesthesiologist. I wanted my drugs. The nurses told me that I needed to be
checked before the anesthesiologist would be called. In the ideal situations, the laboring mom goes into the bathroom to change their clothes –
I physically needed help getting out my clothes and into the gown, so the nurses stripped
me down in the middle of the room with the door wide open.
I had absolutely no modesty left, I didn’t give a hoot -- if it meant my drugs were coming faster, I would have done naked sprints down the hallway. I got onto the bed around 9:45pm and the
nurse checked me.
"Well, it looks like you are 9cm and 100% effaced! We are going to have this baby soon! You have got a really good pelvis -- you aren't going to have ANY problems pushing this baby out”
Immediately, I started to panic. I’m sure the look in my eyes was primal, that I was becoming
a crazed woman. I began looking from nurse to nurse to nurse (there seemed to be about five of them in the room). I started saying
over and over again – “But I want drugs! I'm too far along and can’t have drugs now!” The nurses all tried to calm me, telling me the doctor would be there shortly. I had always said that I wanted to
labor as long as I could without the drugs, but never expected to actually
deliver this baby naturally. At this point, E also asked the nurses if we should shut the door because he was afraid that I
was scaring other laboring moms in the hallway. It was also at this time that E mentioned our car was STILL RUNNING in front of the
ER. E asked if he should go
down and move the car. The nurses
told him that he should stick around because this baby might be coming soon but
they would call down to security and let them know that he would be in L&D
for a while.
At 10:15pm -- under two hours from when the photo in the bar was taken & fully dilated
This is where things get blurry for about 20 minutes. I don’t remember the order of some of
the events, just know that they happened.
The other nurses started trying to put my IV in – they missed two of my
veins in the first arm and one in the second as my veins were “rolling” and they also blew two of my veins. They then decided to call the
anesthesiologist to put in the IV needle.
During this time, one of the nurses came over to my right
side and took my hand. She squeezed it really hard and told me to focus on her. She said that I needed to breathe through the contractions. I was panicked and told her I couldn’t and she very sternly told me that in
fact, I could breathe through them.
She showed me how to breathe “hee-hee-hoo” and made me breathe with
her. She was my bitchy angel – once I had
a breathing technique to focus on during my contractions, I was better able to
handle them. They still hurt like
an SOB, but the breathing gave me something to focus on, instead of focusing on
the pain. My vocalizations stopped all together as I put my focus in one breathing through each contraction. I felt a little more in control and calmer -- but I was still scared shitless that I was going to have to do this old fashion way -- au naturale.
During this time, Dr. Emery (my doctor – HALLELUJAH!) also came in
to see me shortly after 10pm and checked me again. He said that I was 10cm and fully dilated. I can’t remember much else about his
visit. I was still petrified that
I was going to have to have her naturally and the pain was unbearable.
Also during this time, I had a contraction that I thought
that I felt like I had the small urge to push.
The nurses told me that I should go ahead and push. I refused, “But I don’t want to
push!” They told me to do the other Lamaze technique that we
learned in class to keep me from pushing. I can honestly say that I thought if I refused to push, that I could postpone her delivery long enough to get drugs.
Suddenly, the anesthesiologist was in the room and E put
a shower cap on my head at the request of the nurses – very crooked and over
one of my eyes, mind you. They
were going to try to administer my epidural!
Hallelujah! I guess it was a race against the clock, as I had to finish my bag of fluids (which I honestly don't remember this chunk of time, how long it usually takes to administer a bag of fluids and where that time actually went). When the anesthesiologist entered the room, I didn't know why it was happening, but knew that he was there and I couldn't have been more relieved. E left
the room and I was sitting up, leaning on the midwife. I felt bad for her
later, because through each contraction while they were administering my
epidural and spinal (and there were three big contractions), being that I couldn't move from my hunched over position, I squeezed her chicken wing (the underside of her upper arm) and I’m sure
that I bruised her.
Within 10 minutes, the spinal had kicked in and I was
feeling wonderful! E went down
to move the car. He didn't come
back for quite some time, so long in fact, that our L&D nurse Lisa had
commented – wondering if he was going to come back. Come to find out, that someone had locked the car doors with
the car still running! To this day, E thinks that I locked the doors as I was getting out while I think that it was security that locked them after L&D called down to them to explain the situation. The
security guards didn't have the tools to open the locks, so the local police
had to come and unlock his doors!
I also found out why I was able to get the spinal/epidural
being 10cm and 100% effaced. The
ONLY reason that I didn't have her naturally was because she was at a station
-2 meaning she was sitting low in my uterus and her head was not quite at my pelvic bone.
Because she wasn't opening at the door, I was able to receive drugs and
let my uterus work her down without draining my energy. Looking back, I now realize how close I was to having her naturally. With a couple of hours of pushing, she probably would have been born naturally.
I was able to rest until about 1:00am – the
only thing that disturbed me was Lisa coming in frequently to ask if I felt any
pressure. Then my spinal started
wearing off. I started feeling some major back labor on the one side. The pain was so severe that I had to
focus & breathe through the contraction. I
asked Lisa to bring back the anesthesiologist to give me more meds. She didn't want to do that as she
wanted me to feel enough of my contractions to know when to push when it came
time. But I persisted and the
anesthesiologist came back in and administered more drugs. Pure bliss!
I was left alone for quite a long time. About 4.5 hours with me being fully dilated and ready to have this baby, I thought it was a long time. I couldn't feel anything below my belly button. And the fact that I had read during my pregnancy about how even a woman in a coma could deliver a baby because the body naturally knows what to do kept ringing in my head. So the only reassurance that I had that my baby's head wasn't coming out of my va-jay was the fetal monitor was still pumping away at a steady rhythm. Later we found out that there with only one doctor on the floor, at least 2 emergency C-sections, and a completely full L&D were probably the reason that they let me be for so long.
At about 2:30am, Lisa came in asking about pressure. I felt none. She said that she was going to catheter me. She said that I should start getting myself “amped up” because at 3:00am we were going to push. She also mentioned that she was shocked that my waters hadn't broken by this point. As she lifted the blankets to catheter me, she said “Oh my! I've never seen anything like this before!” I was thinking that my baby’s head about already coming out! Come to find out, my bag of water was actually hanging outside of me, like a water balloon. E took a photo of it, so that I could see it. And I have to say that it was pretty amazing! Lisa broke my water while trying to catheter me and then I knew that her arrival was imminent. I don't remember what I thought during those 30 minutes, but I was still in denial that I was going to have a baby in my arms soon.
At about 2:30am, Lisa came in asking about pressure. I felt none. She said that she was going to catheter me. She said that I should start getting myself “amped up” because at 3:00am we were going to push. She also mentioned that she was shocked that my waters hadn't broken by this point. As she lifted the blankets to catheter me, she said “Oh my! I've never seen anything like this before!” I was thinking that my baby’s head about already coming out! Come to find out, my bag of water was actually hanging outside of me, like a water balloon. E took a photo of it, so that I could see it. And I have to say that it was pretty amazing! Lisa broke my water while trying to catheter me and then I knew that her arrival was imminent. I don't remember what I thought during those 30 minutes, but I was still in denial that I was going to have a baby in my arms soon.
At 3:00am, Lisa came back in. By this point, I could feel the top of my abdomen tightening
with my contractions. Lisa
confirmed that my contraction was starting and we got in position to do a
practice push. With that practice
push, her head was almost out!
Lisa told me to stop pushing and she was calling Emery! He came into the room and prepped
up. We started pushing at about
3:15am. In four pushes, little
Finn was born!
Finn born 2.16.12 at 3:23am
I was amazed that she was here and the only thing I could say was "I just had a baby. I just had a baby!" They cleaned her a little and then placed her on my
chest. She proceeded to then empty
her bowels all over my chest!
First thing she does to her mother? She poops on her!
Our first photo together (thank E for my hair, as he was in charge of putting in my ponytail when we got to L&D
and I wasn't in any frame of mind to care what I looked like)
She was perfect and healthy! And after it was all over, Dr.Emery sat down and joked for about 45 minutes while he was stitching me up. Her apgars were perfect -- 9 & 9. And her jaundice score was "0" -- the postpartum doctor and our peds doctor didn't believe us and she was tested multiple times. Every time coming back "0". It was an amazing experience, one made spectacular with my
own doctor delivering her. I couldn't have asked for a better story!
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