Settling in...

For the record, the high pitched noise right before her sneezing is her.

You can see that she startled herself.

So I have finished my first unofficial work week -- I started working in the middle of the week and considered Wednesday the unofficial first work week.  To say that it's hard to return to work is an understatement.  Everyone has told me that it will get easier, but I just don't see how that is possible.  I'm sure there are going to be days that I'm going to be glad to go to work, i.e. Finn is taking after her daddy and being a complete bear (jk, Murphy -- love you anyways!).  But my main reasons for being sad about going to work aren't going to go away.

I don't want her to grow AT ALL while I'm at work.  I don't want her to reach any milestone of any sort without me being there to witness it first.  I personally don't think that I'm going to be a helicopter mama.  It's just that the first time is always the most special time.  She just has to do it once for me and then she can do it a million times for everyone else without me there.

And I'm also not very happy with my work schedule.  I leave the house in the morning at 7:15am and don't get home until 5:45pm.  I waste an hour and half each day commuting back and forth the 14 miles between main campus and my home because my work day is 8-5, which is the majority of the employees at both the Cleveland Clinic and also University Hospitals, which means heavy traffic.

But despite my loathing work each morning, we are settling into a routine and I'm trying to enjoy every moment home with her.  In fact, I'm even considering starting up my exercise routine!  I have 10 pounds left until I'm at my fightin' weight and I'm determined to NOT let it take the 9 months that everyone says that it takes to lose the baby weight.

And being that we have settled into a routine, I'm able to now get the camera out again.  I hadn't taken photos of her in about 4-5 days.  I took her 12 week photos on Thursday and didn't get the camera out again until yesterday morning.  But I'm sure that she didn't mind the reprieve in "the little black box" as I like to call my camera and my phone.  She could be laughing hysterically, but the minute that "little black box" goes up, her smile goes down.  Lady better get used to it, because it isn't going away... :)

American Badass

 Yes, yes -- a daddy post on Mother's Day, but it makes this Mama smile.

Question:  What happens the first time that a new daddy is left alone with his baby daughter for more than two hours?

Answer:  She becomes a badass!

At least, that's what happened in our case.  Last Saturday afternoon, I went to a "Derby" party at one of my friend's place.  That left E alone with Finn for about four hours.  All day, he kept saying, "We (Finn & I) have big plans this afternoon.  Big plans..."  My thought was that he was teasing me.

Imagine my surprise when I get a picture text from him of my naked baby.  I was driving, so I couldn't study the photo long initially, but I saw that she was laying face down on our red velvet sofa, naked as a jaybird and there was something black that looked like a mustache above her butt crack.  I instantly started laughing and told my friend that I couldn't look anymore until we were safely stopped for fear of causing a crash.

I wasn't away from the house for more than 30 minutes and the girl had already went out and got her first two tattoos!  She had a "tramp stamp" and an arm band, just like her daddy (and no, E doesn't have a tramp stamp).

So when I got home, we had to do a father-daughter photo shoot in honor of her first "tat".  Little girl definitely knows how to rock some ink!

Before you know it, she is going to be coming home with a spiked leather punk jacket and dating a boy named Slasher.

And before any of you start dialing DFS, the tattoos are fake (of course) and they easily came off with baby oil.  Her beautiful skin was not permanently marred in any way.

 

With Finn's strengthening neck muscles, we were able to "Bumbo" for a little bit recently.  We still get the wobbles every once in a while. 

But the little girl is getting way too big for her breeches!  At least for this mama's tastes!  Speaking of Mama's, poor little Finna has been without her Mamaroo for the past four days!  The cats had jarred the power cord and one of the metal plugs came off.  We bought a generic replacement power cord, but we think that the base may have shorted out.  It's driving this mama insane!!  So I have ordered replacement parts that should arrive by Wednesday and all will be right in the Murphy household again.  Finn & I miss the sounds of the ocean rolling in while making dinner in the kitchen!

Happy 12 weeks to my wild lady!

12 weeks old

One week old

My wild lady is 12 weeks old today.  Holy crap!  I returned to work yesterday and I think that going to work each day is going to be a struggle as I didn't want to leave her this morning either.  The scales are seriously tipped -- stay at home with my lovely and get wonderful hugs and smiles OR go to work and deal with crazy people on both ends of the spectrum.  It really makes me like my job less.

At twelve weeks old:

---Doing our very unscientific weighing, Finn is weighing in at 12-12.5 pounds today (depending on who is holding her on the scale)!  She has gained over a 1 pound in the last month, which doesn't seem like that much.  We also unscientifically measured her and she was 24 inches long.

---At her last appointment at the doctor two weeks ago, she weighed in at 11.3 pounds (right at the 50th percentile and was 23.5 inches long (80th percentile).

---She had been eating like a mo'fo the past week or so and we were figuring that she was having her three month growth spurt.  Looks like we were right if our measurements are accurate.

---She is still sleeping with us, which I personally feel is wonderful!  Last night, she slept from 9:30pm -- roughly 2:45am.  And then I think that she slept again until about 4-5am.  The only way that I remember that she woke up is if I wake up on the opposite side that I fell asleep.  This weekend we are going to begin putting her in her crib to start the evening.  The plan is to get her to sleep, place her in her crib, and when she wakes up to eat, move her to our bed.  The hope is that she will eventually sleep through the night, weaning herself from sleeping with us -- not me, telling her that she needs to sleep in her own bed.

---She now recognizes me and greets me with a smile and a coo when I've left the room or come home from work.

---She is mesmerized with the TV.  We don't put her in front of the television but in putting her down on the sofa or the floor, she will turn to the television and watch.

---She still won't nap longer than 5-10 minutes during the day unless she is either in my arms or sleeping on my chest.  Every once in a while, she will fall asleep in her Mamaroo or her swing and then we get 30-60 minutes.

---We officially moved her into 0-3 month clothes at ten weeks.  Some of them are too big around the tummy, but she is definitely long enough for most of them.

---She is in size 1 diapers.  She is definitely filling them out more now than at 8 weeks.  Her legs still aren't chubby enough to stop leaking, but if I can catch her in the act and we move to the changing pad, we can usually avert a disaster.

---The lady is now holding objects with both hands when placed in her hands.  She can even remove one hand and grab the object with the same hand again.  And let me tell you -- she is all about her hands!  She grabs everything that is near her hands -- her bibs, Mama's hair, blankets -- and they promptly go directly into her mouth.
---She is a mad talker as well.  The doctor was surprised at how much she was talking already and said that she would be a big talker as little lady started talking to the doctor while in for her appointment.  My favorite time is when I can really get her going by mimicking her exact sounds.  She'll make a sound and I'll make the sound right back and then she corresponds with another sound.  We aren't even speaking the same language yet, but talking to her melts my heart.

---Sister is getting some mad rolling skills.  We aren't there yet.  But during tummy time, her back right leg is really flying.  She lifts that leg up high enough for her lower tummy to be off the ground.  I wouldn't be surprised if in the next couple of weeks, she rolls over -- at least on accident.
--We've also been practicing tummy time and getting her neck strengthened by laying her with her knees on the couch and elbows on my tummy.  She loves this view of the world and I love the way her little head looks like a bobble head as she tries with all her might to exert control over her melon.

---She also has great neck strength.  She can be picked up from a laying position with minimal head support.  She doesn't need head support at all being passed between people.  And she is getting really good at maintaining neck control when we grab her hands and lift her into a sitting position from a laying position.

---She has decided that she doesn't really like E.  According to her, only Mama will do.  But he has figured out that walking her outside when she starts screaming calms her.  Being that summer is right around the corner, it'll be a great father-daughter thing to do as long as we get her a mosquito netting before the bugs set in!  :)
--Sister still doesn't like the car.  We are getting better, but she still loathes the car.  Like last night when I went to pick up a pizza, I got her all happy & talking before I shut her door.  We were good, blabbering away to each other until I stopped.  Then it was over and there was no going back.

Can't believe that another month has passed so quickly.  In fact, the vivid memories of being pregnant and delivering her are fading.  It kind of makes me lonely for those excited times full of anticipation.  They were such a good time in my life, so full of promise and love.  Now my life is so full of love and promise of a different kind.  The best kind there is...

A brief layover

Last week, E's sister Anita came in to see Finn.  She's a flight attendant and can jump on flights pretty quickly.  She came in on Wednesday and left on Friday evening.  Even though she only stayed for a short time, I think she definitely got some baby love in.

I made sure to pass off the little lady every chance that I wasn't feeding her.  Auntie Anita definitely has a way to put babies to sleep as you can tell.

We just spent the day laying around and loving on a baby.  According to her, it was a perfect getaway.

So today was my first day away from my pretty lady.  This morning was definitely hard.  As I was getting ready to leave, I cried, looking at her laying in our bed laughing and smiling at me.  I couldn't even look at the house as I drove away, thinking E would be standing with her in the window waving because I was crying too hard.  But I didn't cry again.  I'm not happy about having to return to work, but realize that Finn will be a strong, independent woman because of it.  I would like to arrange my schedule at work to be home earlier with her and am going to speak to my supervisor next week regarding this.  I also think that because Finn is at our house and with someone that she is familiar with, it makes me more comfortable.  That first day in September when we transfer her to daycare here on campus will sting a lot worse than today, I fear.  But I'm not going to think about that day until at least late August.

Sister is getting bigger and bigger.  Her head is growing so strong.  I was able to place her in her Bumbo yesterday.  Both times were very short, less than a minute a piece.  I can tell that she really enjoys watching her surroundings and we will be using the Bumbo a lot more in the upcoming weeks.

Every new beginning....

Comes from some other beginning's end...

So, today is my last day home with my little lady.  To say that I'm sad would be a MAJOR understatement.

Today's weather is a perfect companion to my emotions.  It is rainy and gloomy.  At first, I thought it was a sign from God that he was upset because I had to go to work tomorrow.  I told E that one, but the logical scientist scoffed.  Then I realized why the powers that be decided to make it rain today.  Not to deepen my sadness.  But just the opposite because it is perfect weather for snuggling.

 
The one thing that I've come to realize in this last year is that in order to have flowers, you gotta have some rain.  It's the rain that makes the flowers' stems strong enough to support the beautiful petals that bloom with the sun.  It's the rain that makes the flowers' roots dig deeper into the soil to strengthen its foundation.

And that's what I'm starting to see my return to work as.  It's my rain.

As much as I want to sit at home with my baby girl everyday for the rest of my life, I know that it's not possible.  I know that I may need to get out of the house and spend some time away from her to remember who I am.  At this point, I've only spent probably a total of 10 hours away from her in the past 12 weeks.  It's difficult to find yourself in an hour here and an hour there.

I remember the girl that I was before I had her and I don't want to lose her.  I want to be that girl for my girl.  I want to be the strong, independent woman that teaches my girl how to have dance parties of one, which will now forever be dance parties of two (sometimes three when Munk joins in).  I didn't realize how easy it was to lose yourself in someone -- to suddenly just become Mommy and not be Jamie anymore.  Just as much as I need my old self, Finn needs Jamie, too.

And although there will be more than enough tears being shed tomorrow, let the rain fall down on me.  For the flowers that bloom from this rain will be exquisite.

Quickie...

E's sister had been out for a visit last week and I was trying to enjoy my last weekend before going back to work.  So I have a myriad of photos that need to be uploaded and sorted.  She is growing so fast and getting so much bigger each day that I feel that if I don't post something, I'm going to be so far behind. 

It was ungodly hot that day -- so the fan is the muffling that you are hearing.

Sister is getting so good at holding her head up.  She doesn't need her head supported hardly at all when we pick her up from an upright position (such as from someone else's arms).  She needs minimal support when being picked up from a laying position.

This is how we enjoyed our last lazy Sunday before I return to work.  Nothing completes a wonderful weekend better than sleepy snuggles with my lady...

I only have two days left with her before I return to work -- so if I don't get anything else posted in the next two days, just know that I'm enjoying EVERY MINUTE that we have left!  :)

I do have multiple posts that are going to be going up this week.  I have E's sister's visit, a father-daughter shoot like none other, and her three month update all this week.

We are family - I got all my sisters with me...

This weekend, Finn and I had some (not all) our sisters with us.  My mother and her two sisters, Vicki & Ann, and their daughters, Kristin & Carly came out for the weekend.  Although my mother is THE grandma, she is ever so gracefully sharing the title, as Grandma Vicki and Grandma Nan were in the house as well.

Girls' weekend!

 

Three generations

10 week family photo

This is going to be a photo-heavy post.  Not a lot of words, as no words could describe how wonderful it was having all the girls here this past weekend.  As they say...  A picture says a thousand words...

There was lots of playing and holding and snuggling...  Everyone took their turn holding Finn and playing with her.  She definitely felt some major love last weekend.  And she is definitely a snuggler.  Anytime that she would get fussy because she was tired, one of the girls would take her, place her on their chest with or without a blanket, and the little lady would fall right to sleep.

And we even went out to eat!  We took everyone to Melt, a restaurant that only serves grilled cheese sandwiches.  But they serve almost anything that you can think of in those grilled cheeses!  In fact, there were sandwiches ordered that contained a piece of lasagna and one entire sandwich was even deep fried!

 

 

  

  

 

On Saturday, we went to the Westside Market to have gyros.  We also stopped over at the Great Lakes Brewing Co. where I had a baby... In a bar...  I was amazed at how many bad looks we got from women who saw that I was carrying a baby in a sling while standing there having a beer.  Now I can understand the bad looks if it is midnight and I'm out to get sloshed.  But it was 3 in the afternoon and we didn't look like the type that was out to party it up.  In fact, she slept the entire time that we were in the brewery, wrapped snuggly in her Moby. 

I'll have more to say tomorrow -- it appears that my attention is wanted somewhere else...  It seems that birds that were playing so nicely with her before have suddenly turned on her...